In Muenchen Steht...

Ein Hofbraeuhaus (sorry, as a German speaker, I have to spell it right, even if it looks bizarre). I first visited this institution back in 1973, as a college kid. I remember being impressed with the beer, size of the restaurant, beer, the vomitoire in the men’s room (don’t ask), and the beer. Last week I visited the place again, this time with Lucie and Robb. The place hasn’t changed much and, on a cold March afternoon, crowds were fortunately not a problem. Nor is smoking any more, thanks to new laws which are sweeping across Europe like the winds from Scotland!

Back in 1973 I took a menu with me and, for tradition’s sake, did the same thing last week. Robb now calls me a Hot Boy and maybe even God was watching, since only three hours after this caper my Nikon was stolen when I left it in our rental car at the Munich airport for all of 10 minutes unattended.

Back to the menu, it’s fun to compare entrees as well as prices. In 1973 there were 13 different sausage plates available; today, just 8. There are still 3 soups, but none of today’s match what could be found 36 years ago. There were 23 main courses back in 1973, including (I’m taking this from the English version of the menu, which is a lot more fun) roast pork, boiled beef, milt sausage, and “lights” (I can’t even tell what this is from the German or French versions; all I know is that it was very cheap, so it’s probably best not to ask). Today it’s down to 12 meals. There is still a surprisingly wide array of wines available, now as then. As for beer, we still have the mainstays, Helles and Weizen, but current tastes are evidently moving toward tutti-fruity, as evidenced by three additions to the menu where beer is mixed with various soft drinks. Menschenskinder!

And what about prices, 36 years on? In 1973, you got about 2.7 German marks to the dollar. Today, it takes about $1.30 to buy a single Euro. But to keep the math simple for you, I’ll handle the conversions. A liter of beer: 1973 - $1.12 ; 2009 - $9.30 Roast pork: 1973 - $2.40 ; 2009 - $11.60 Apple strudel: 1973 - $1.25 ; 2009 - $5.25 Bratwurst with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes: 1973 - $1.70 ; 2009 - $7.95 . I guess you get the point. Ouch! But now ask yourself how much you were making a year back in 1973. Suddenly not all that terrible any more, eh?

Male Kissing – It’s A Guy Thing (here in Belgium…)!

There’s no denying that we Americans are a bit prudish when it comes to physical contact. A firm masculine handshake is nearly always the correct choice when men meet, whether for the first time or as long-lost buddies. Once in awhile we might consider something a tad more “intimate,” such as a touch (very brief, if you please) on the arm, maybe even up to the shoulder (normally reserved for WW I trenchmates who have just been reunited in a nursing home after not seeing each other for 90 years…) . But for anything beyond that, well, in our culture there just has to be a female at the other end.

Not so over here in Europe! As 19 year-old Robb will tell you, you cannot be considered a real friend among the guys without a cheek kiss whenever you meet up with your male buds. This is a requirement each and every time you come together, not just on birthdays or other special occasions. It wasn’t easy for him to adapt to this cultural norm, but he is now a full-fledged male kisser, and seems no worse for the wear, so to speak. I’m happy to say that I’ve never been put to the test yet (a Belgian dude probably would not appreciate a low-pitched scream slipping out of me without warning).

I’ve found that different countries have differing requirements for the number of pecks to be shared by male acquaintances (I call it the Kiss-Factor, or K-F). Here in Belgium, a K-F of one is standard. In other European countries, I’ve often seen it raised to a K-F of two. Down south a bit and in other far-flung areas of the continent, I’ve even seen a K-F-3 several times. Picture this: ten guys get together for dinner and begin a K-F-3 ritual. Face it, everybody’s eating cold food tonight! But I believe three is the max, as well it should be. Anything beyond K-F-3 and I don’t think we’re in the just-friends category anymore. I mean, why do you think they call it fourplay??